Musing No. 1: Grow

Steps for growth …

Witness: observe, don’t absorb

Get Quiet: find direction in the silence

Surrender: release to receive expansive guidance

I’m in a growth phase again. Maybe it’s always happening. Sometimes more, sometimes less. It’s uncomfortable. Okay. Really. It’s feeling painful, disorienting, and very scary. I don’t want it. But it’s happening anyway.

And I’m making it more difficult.

I’m not witnessing, I’m absorbing. Like a sponge, I’m absorbing the ugly and hurtful. I’m absorbing the dark, and it’s starting to absorb me in return.

How do I step back? Can I even step out of this? To become witness to it all, without being drawn in. Right now it feels like everything is playing at drawing me in.

What enters my heart is to become quiet. Turn it all OFF. Speak less. Think less. Return over and over to the quiet. Just the sounds of mother nature to ease it all. To seep into my hurt parts and scared corners. To let these in, so the others are crowded out.

At some point my wiser self knows that this will lead to understandings I cannot see right now. To peace I don’t yet feel. To strengths and knowings I’m not hearing or accessing by being in the noise.

And then, when I let it all go, the space will open up for insights and directions to appear.

And so it is.